Wednesday, November 3, 2010

On love and honesty.

Have you told someone you love them today?

I love to tell people that I love them. Especially because it's true. I love a lot of people, and I'm not afraid to say it to their face. Often times though, the response I get is a look of confusion and words that basically mean "This is awkward, where did this come from?" And then I feel pressured to agree and pretend it was said in humor.

This, I believe, is a tragedy. Why? Allow me to answer with a story. I believe my mother died without truly knowing how much I love her. I allowed this to happen because saying "I love you" regularly and in such ways as to truly express how much I meant it never crossed my mind. This is a frequent source of guilt for me. Don't let it happen to you! People you know today may very well be gone tomorrow. I knew my Mom was dying for months and I didn't do anything. Don't make my mistake.

How many people do you know and love who have no idea or might need reminding from time to time how much you care that they are in your life? Don't be afraid to say so. It might mean more to them hearing it, than it means for you to say it.

Being a college student living with college students, I'm prone to hearing a lot of excuses. I am not innocent of this, but I feel as though I'm more aware of it than others. People say that they don't have time to do or say something that might take them less than a minute and have a great impact beyond themselves. Such as telling someone they love them, even if they have been too busy to spend time with them. Don't just pass by a friend's door if you have been very busy...maybe they'd like to know the reason you don't talk to them anymore is because you're busy, and not because you don't care about them anymore. To some this might seem like a silly assumption but it's a reality...people can feel that way.

That being said, make sure that you mean the things you say to people. If you tell someone you trust them and feel like you both could talk about anything, don't stop talking to them for no reason. You will have made yourself a liar. If you tell someone you like spending time with them, don't stop spending time with them for no reason. You will have hyped up your relationship with them, only to disappoint them.

There was a dream that I dreamed, and that dream was that we were all open and honest about our feelings.


  1. Thank you for posting this. I needed to be reminded of these things.
    Love you Jay, and your insightful nature ^.^

  2. Hi Jay,
    Forgive my lurking. I love your thoughtfulness and the way you follow through on your thoughts! Please allow me to reassure you that your momma knew just how much you loved her. It's true that we appreciate hearing those words but she knew Jay, even without you saying them. Certainly she is rejoicing in heaven over the godly man you are becoming. Thanks for reminding us to tell others how we feel about them. I hope you continue in spite of others discomfort. In His love.

  3. I don't think you're lurking! Thank you for the beautiful comment...that's certainly something I need to remember, and I think you're right. I'll do my best! :)