Thursday, March 28, 2013


Melee: a confused struggle.

I'm in a melee. I'm struggling and I don't know who I'm even fighting anymore. Myself? Someone else? Satan? God?

It seems lately like every time I write one of these posts, it's to undo the last one. Am I just crazy, or does my life really change this quickly? Do I really gain so much only to lose it a few days later?

I don't know what I've done, but I'm getting punished anyway. I feel like the world owes me an apology. I am trying to cope and stay happy but this is really something else. As tempted as I am to blame one person, this is not the fault of one person...this is just a lot of people doing little things over time. I am worn out of it. I have talked incessantly about all of the things that have bothered me in my life. I am tired of it. All I can do is just wait until I can move on, and I can hold on to the good friends I have until they move on.

I did so much, and it never mattered. But I didn't know that I could get hurt by doing nothing, too.

There was a dream that I dreamed, a dream to see the face of the enemy.

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