Saturday, November 12, 2011

I know myself.

I think Aristotle was right on when he said that the happiest man is the virtuous man. To know what is right and good, and be in the habit of doing it.

There are so many things I don't know. I don't know what the right thing to do is, sometimes. Sometimes it seems like the only thing I can do is to just make a decision. And that's what I've had to do. If I am not satisfied with the same decision I make over and over, I must try the other, no matter how hard it is. I have to believe I can make a decision I can eventually accept.

But I don't know, and perhaps can't know, if it's really the right thing to do...There are so many things I don't know.

People sometimes tell me really nice things about myself. I never tell them they're right. If I'm feeling good I tell them thanks. But really, I don't ever agree...this is not me being humble. I know myself. I know who I am. It is perhaps one of the only things I do know, is who I really am. It is my greatest gift.

Out of all the things to know, I am blessed to know who I really am. I can't say I always like myself. Sometimes I really, really don't. I know that deep down, I really am a selfish jerk. The worst part of that is not knowing when I am acting on that quality. I have always tried to take a position of skepticism of "things that I want" to avoid it, at all costs. And that's what I've done...for so long now...

Well, I've made my choice. Now I have to live with it.

There was a dream that I dreamed...a dream of knowing the right thing to do.

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