Thursday, August 2, 2012

What Lies Below.

Dreams are the mind's way of taking a nice, refreshing poop.

Last night I had a dream that bothered me a little. In the dream, someone I don't like very much trapped me in a warehouse. I played nice and asked her to let me out, while she continued to threaten me with making everyone believe I was a bad person and other things that she would never actually say but my mind knows I find horrific. Well, when she came back in to taunt me to my face, I let her know she made a mistake by promptly grappling with her. For a moment I was afraid I had messed with the wrong opponent, since I was surprised at how her size contributed to her strength, but in the end I was still able to lift her and throw her down onto the ground. This did nothing to stop her, though, and it wasn't until I brutally bent her so that one side of her face was pressed into the ground and the other into her stomach that I had truly won.

"You will let me out. You will never speak to me again." I said to her, as her face turned bright, cherry red and the pain showed very clearly on her face. I felt a pang of guilt at seeing how hurt she was, but I reminded myself of her attempt to trap and defame me before letting her off the ground. She quickly went to fulfill my demands, letting me out and sobbing as people began to ask her what was wrong...while I slinked off elsewhere to think about the lack of foresight that could get me an assault charge and whether her entrapment was good enough for a self-defense defense. Then I woke up, relieved.

What does this mean? Well, besides the obvious fact that I still have a lot of messed up dreams, it means to me that I have a lot of anger to take out. Mostly when I'm impatient, frustrated, or angry, I let out a little steam by slipping out a few curse words or having an angry expression, but apparently this isn't enough. I'm very angry about certain things that keep happening to me, which I need not repeat lest my readership that may already be annoyed at all my emo posts (sorry! It's really my one guilty internet emo thing) consider this one the final straw.

Problem is, what do I do about it, anyway? I can't exactly actually go punching people, now. I used to like to throw a softball in the air and hit it as far as I could, and run after it...Over and over until I was too tired to be angry. Now that seems...silly. And probably won't keep working.

If you have any ideas...let me know.

There was a dream that I dreamed, a dream for peaceful dreams.

2 comments:

  1. batting cages?

    samurai sword training?

    parkour with me and matt b?

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    Replies
    1. All of those things sound...so wonderful!

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