All that I am.

The only way to be great, is to be a part of something great.

The real tragedy of selfishness, I think, is not that it results in too much goodness for the self but too little. In the grand scheme of things, one person's effort is very little. I have learned through trial and error that everything I do for myself always comes up short. That's why after my last post, I actually changed my mind. Being a part of something greater is worth more than the sum of all of the personal reasons I had.

When I put forth effort to make myself great, all I ever really do is just attempt to feed a desire that can't be fed by myself. It is only when what meager gifts I have to offer are given in love to others that I am actually able to spread myself out into something greater. While I alone am small, together, many people are something great. And by being a part of that, I am great, too.

That is what makes life so grand. That is why God demands so much of us. In the end, the love we give is the love we receive. When I make someone else smile in whatever way I can, I also feel loved. Even when I am very upset and feel like life has been really unfair to me, if I can still make myself small and put others forth, all of that is erased. I diminish, and so do my worries. Others joys can become mine.

This is my only true pleasure in life, which is why I am dedicating it to the pursuit of healing and happiness in other people (my career). I only regret that it really took me so long to realize that the problem was not that others weren't doing enough for me, but I wasn't doing enough for others. In fact, it could never be enough.

There was a dream that I dreamed, a dream to give over myself.

I don't believe in bucket lists.

Why make a list of all the things you want to do before you die?

Life is a little bit of what we do and a lot bit of what comes our way. It is my firm belief that most of our circumstances are beyond our control - it is a matter of how we choose to deal with them that makes us who we are.

It seems like the object of a bucket list is to think of cool things one would like to do - but how many people consider that they may be picking the wrong things?

Consider the things that you've done that you were sure you would enjoy, and turned out to be really bad ideas. Think of all the things you never thought you would enjoy that you somehow ended up doing and liking a great deal.

Life is a lot like that. Before you die, if you are open to experience, you will probably end up doing a lot of things that you could never foresee. However, if you are constantly chasing after items on a bucket list for the controlled thrill, you'll probably miss out.

Allow me to explain. If you live with the mindset that the most exciting and interesting things you do with your life are the ones you plan yourself, you're going to end up missing out on a lot of unplanned things that really make life worth living. Jumping out of an airplane or climbing a mountain is nice, yes...but those things are nothing compared to a long conversation late at night spent underneath a starry sky, unplanned, unexpected, and totally life-giving. Making bucket lists doesn't exclude these things, but consider how popular they are compared to how popular doing anything other than watching a movie/TV or drinking on a Saturday night is.

Be more impulse driven - give in to the spur of the moment fun decision. This is not an invitation to make bad decisions based on anger or lust - what I mean is, don't let something like social norms or some kind of fear or anxiety keep you from doing something good and wholesome and life-giving. Life is much more full of regrets for things you never did than things you did do.

There was a dream that I dreamed, a dream for spontaneity.